Redefined Luxuries
Get this: so far in March I've purchased coffee drinks 9 times; in February I bought 11 of them. Why? Because I can. Prior to Fix I might have purchased coffee once or twice a month when out meeting a friend. But I'm finding that when I feel bored or tired or otherwise uncheerful, I get a little charge out of the one thing I can buy. I'm not buying a small decaf, either: it's cinnamon dulce lattes and spring chai specials all the way. I'm appalled that I get satisfaction out of this - the leaning up against the rules, the expensive sugary drinks, the embrace of Starbucks! Even worse, now that my wallet is considerably fuller, I've been hopping into cabs at an alarming rate. Technically, it's within the rules, given that it's transportation and not a thing...but it's a car, the enemy of cyclists everywhere! What's more, I enjoy the experience - it's easy, it's fast, it feels luxurious. Fix isn't about denying myself pleasure, but I wonder if it's possible to give myself a little treat without buying something. The feeling I get from buying the coffee is quite distinct from the feeling I'd have if I were to sing a song or lie down in the grass or stand on my head. And could I do those in the middle of the afternoon at work? Still, I think I might have to nix the coffee drinks and cab rides going forward -- and I'm quite certain my sneaky inner yuppie will find something else to take their place.
Megan Metcalf
3 Comments
Reader Comments (3)
I read this and thought you would like it.
Some have too much, yet still do crave,
I little have, and seek no more:
They are poor, though much they have,
And I am rich with little store:
They poor, I rich; they beg, I give;
They lack, I leave; they pine, I live.
from My Mind to Me a Kingdom Is by Sir Edward Dyer
I wonder if you're missing part of the point of your own experiment? Why should you be appalled at the pleasure you take in cabs and coffees? Life is full of temptations small and large; only in radical religions do we find ourselves guilty for taking part in he more harmless of them. Otherwise, its all about moderation and sanity.
Shouldn't it be fun, even joyful, to take notice of the silly things that give us more satisfaction than they have any right to? Why not revel in our own humanity, even when it reveals us to be capricious, cpmulsive, even rapacious? You of all people seem well positioned to make this experiment lighthearted -- after all, you aren't compulsive, you aren't murdering yourself with overnutrition or medication. You may have a bit of plastique debt, but you're not (yet) desperate.
That said, I think you've hit on something obvious and not new, but still underrated as a practical matter in everyday life: the less we have, the more we appreciate (that is, unless we choose bitterness).
In other words, there is pleasure in having. And there is pleasure in not having. Especially, there is pleasure in not having, and then having. Or whatever. My wish for you, Megan, is that you have fun with this little experiment. I think you are, but I also think you could take it less seriously.
By the way, have you read Walden? I haven't since high school, where I found it insufferably self important. But might be an interesting skim in this context, if only to determine whether there is in fact anything new under the sun.
Points taken - it is getting a little too serious around here. I was hoping that the tone I take on myself and my habits on this blog would tend towards the curious rather than the critical, and the observed inevitably transforms with observation. You're exactly right on the when and the how of this experiment: I have the luxury to pause and cultivate habits for a happy, honest life, which must of course include some levity.
As for the little pleasures, I am delighting in discovering what they are - Fix didn't hinder my enjoyment of the In-N-Out meal I indulged in last week. I could be appalled at my "sneaky inner yuppie," or I could view my transgressions and borderline joys as my desires getting a little more creative. The crippling effect of a scrupulous conscience is certainly as bad or worse than the effects of overconsumption. I despise dogma in any case.
Walden is on the list.